Hot Child in the City

We had someone in the store recently looking for Brave Soldier's Friction Zone to help prevent chafing during an upcoming bike ride. With the temps reaching into the 90s -- and us sweating like we haven't sweated since that night we . . . um, never mind. We'll just move along.

Anyway, we thought it would be a good idea to let you know what causes chafing so you'll be able to enjoy your bike rides, runs, walks and other hot, sweaty activities this summer without too much pain and discomfort.

According to mothernature.com

Any activity that requires skin to repeatedly rub against skin can lead to chafing.

We usually call this a fun Saturday night. But if it's going to leave you red and raw -- and that happens not to be your thing -- you should also check out Friction Zone. It's cold water and sweat resistant, helps prevent blisters and reduces rash irritations. There's no petrolatum, so the product is safe for wet suits.

Additionally, we suggest Balla Powder. It keeps you dry "down there" while leaving you smelling like a guy, not a funky locker room or a flowery meadow.

All this talk about physical activity makes us remember that the Chicago Marathon happens in October. Runners are already training.

Yes, you know us well. We will NOT be participating in anything that requires us to go more than four blocks without the use of an automobile.

Surprisingly, Manifold has friends who are actually athletic and dedicated to something more than finding the closest open bar. One Manifold friend is even raising money for the AIDS Foundation of Chicago. Yeah, he's running a marathon and raising money. Our life seems to pale in comparison. Be sure to check out his site -- and make a donation!

An Open Letter to Oprah

Dear Oprah:

We recently learned that you’re planning to open a store on our turf. We’re sure you know people are already hatin’ on you since they don’t think you need the money. When we first heard the news of your this venture, we were a little, um, peeved. Let’s just leave it at that.

Why were we peeved? Woman, you don’t need the money. We do. We’ve got bills to pay, food to purchase, drinks to buy and children to clothe. Ok, maybe not the children thing. But we certainly have bills to pay. And drinks to buy. Food? Meh.

Under NO circumstances, however, do we need YOU as competition! Entities mightier than Manifold have fallen because of you. (We won't even link to Phil.)

We thought about ways to sabotage this little side attraction before you got too far along in the planning (we’re thoughtful like that). That’s right. We were going to stop the indomitable O train!

We would lie. We would start an unsubstantiated rumor. We would say you snubbed us. We would tell everyone but you that we were writing a book. Then we came to our senses. Did you know that in addition to all of your money (because of??), you have P-O-W-E-R?

Therefore, we had a brief moment of self-reflection (bet that term got your attention!) and decided to go a different route. You, dear Oprah, will only learn from your mistakes if you face them (we learned that from you, ha!). So, we offer the following choices to correct this only-in-our-minds competitive move:

1. BUY US. We’re cheap; you can afford us. Hell, even if we weren’t cheap, you could pay cash for us – souls and pride at no additional cost.
   


2. FEATURE US. That should generate enough revenue for us to stay solvent until 2053. We even sell books. We’ll come on for any segment.
   


3. VISIT US. You don’t have to buy anything. But why wouldn’t you? You'd really like us, and we know what happens when you really like something. Just know that we don’t take AmEx – not even AmEx Black (and we’d bet our first born that you have one) – or checks. Just make sure you bring the paparazzi along with you.

With all humbleness (and desperateness), these are your ONLY choices should you choose to continue this ill-advised store thing. Get back to us with your selection. You have until our next rent payment is due.

Sincerely,

Manifold

P.S. Please, please review Rule 2 before you next say “I feel badly.” Hasn't anyone told you this before?

With This Ring

People magazine recently published its list of the hottest bachelors. Manifold isn’t going to argue or dispute the list – though we’re not on it, which is clearly a mistake! Instead, it got us wondering about the joys and pains of being single. Most studies we found say that married people are happier. Again, we won’t argue or dispute that fact. Let’s just say that there are some benefits to being single.

A wedding ring can also make you more attractive, but that often comes at a cost. How do you get the benefits of being single without the burden? Get the singelringen! The manufacturer says the ring lets you declare that it’s ok to be single. We say it lets you have your cake and eat it too. Six of one, blah, blah. Either way, it’s a unique concept (expect anything less from us???) and a cool design (those Swedes have done it again!).

So if you’re happily single the singelringen is for you.

If our not-so-well-reasoned argument for wearing the ring doesn’t appeal to you, maybe this will. The ring is f-en trendy among celebrities (Or “celebrities” for those with no discernable talent other than the ability to be photographed. We’re talking to you Evan and Jeremy!):

• Terrence Howard


• Juliette Lewis


• Naomi Campbell


• Evan Ross


• Mario Lopez


• Maria Menounos


• Kendra Wilkinson


• Vivica Fox


• Wilmer Valderrama


• Monique Coleman


• Jonathan Sadowski


• Jamie Kennedy


• Jeremy Jackson

Cum all ye faithful

Just a, um, heads up: Check out Manifold's ad for pride weekend in Time Out Chicago.

We used to just consider these to be bath towels. We've come to embrace other uses for them as well. However you use it, we're sure you'll enjoy it.

The Power of the Penis -- Without a $2.99 Shrimp Dinner

Here at Manifold we pride ourselves on not just providing great products for our customers, but also educating them. To that end, we bring you this very special
pub(l)ic announcement -- with all the quality of a bad after school special. Enjoy! (It's long, but worth every friggin' minute.) NSFW

Save It!!!

Anyone who knows me or has read Manifold's myspace page knows my LoVe for Veronica Mars. Without a doubt it's the best show on television.

It goes without saying that the best show on television has crappy ratings. The show has survived for three seasons but may not have a fourth. Watch it. Write in to tell the network to save it. Do whatever you have to do. Just make sure it comes back for another season. Even the banal Wayan brothers had their show run for five seasons!!

The image in this post is taken from Manifold's window covering when we were getting the store ready to open. Yes, in addition to trying to generate notice for the store, I was still trying to get people to watch Veronica Mars -- and that was back in 2005.

I also had the great fortune of meeting the Wallace character from Veronica Mars at a trade show in Las Vegas.

Life Imitating Art???

I read Shaving Stuff every (week) day. It's a great round-up of all things shaving. Today's (yesterday's, depending on when this gets posted) post is about Shaving in the Tub, a toy to teach kids how to shave -- of course, without using an actual razor but does include a shaving brush! While reading this, I was reminded of the Michael Keaton movie My Life, in which the main character is dying but leaves videos to teach his son various life lessons; how to shave is one of them.

No snark. No cynicism. No attempts at humor. (Granted, I'm usually the only one who appreciates my humor). Just thought it was a cool toy and wanted to share the memory.

Boxers vs Briefs vs Boxer/Briefs vs Commando

Seems one Mr. JAKE Gyllenhaal had quite a time selecting underwear. I was going to say quite a "hard time", but I don't want to infer anything. According to the never-wrong Page Six,

"JAKE Gyllenhaal is way beyond the simple choice of boxers vs. briefs. A shopper in Bloomingdale's underwear department recently watched the "Brokeback Mountain" star with a salesman "combing through every style . . . A good 10 minutes later, Jake was still at it . . . holding up a pair of tight white briefs that he'd pulled out of the package to examine, as if he'd never seen tighty whities before in his entire life. It was hilarious. He looked very confused and had a furrowed brow . . . He was examining undies like an anthropologist in the city's most highly trafficked department store."

This story had a lot of traction on the blogs today, including here and here. Guess it was a slow news day, what with a jury convicting Scooter Libby on four out of five counts and fired U.S. Attorneys appearing before Congress to say their dismissals were political in nature. And, still more people getting blown away in Iraq. But at least Jake found a nice pair of underwear -- hopefully.

While on the topic, however, I'd suggest staying away from plain white briefs. You don't want to end up looking like Jared Leto (see above) while filming Chapter 27 -- a movie that may never get released on the big screen. Instead, check out Manifold's Unfed boxers, Ted Baker boxer/briefs or Ginch Gonch briefs. I'd link to the boxers, but they're not online as of this posting. Just give us a call or drop us a note and we'll tell you all about them.

Let's Do It Again (not the movie, though it's great!)

We're doing it again. In yet another exclusive, Manifold brings you the Power Stay from Wurkin Stiff.


Q: How does it work?
A: Place the Power Stays™ into your shirt’s collar stay pockets and place the super-strong magnets on the inside of the shirt… It’s that easy!



Q: I don't get it. . . Where does the magnets go?
A: The magnets act like hidden buttons which go on the underside of the shirt. Between the underside of your shirt and your skin. This means all you "button down" collar guys out there, now can wear your straight collar shirts and button them down too!



Q: How strong are your magnets?
A: These are not your ordinary refrigerator magnets. Our magnets are the strongest magnets on earth. You never have to worry about the magnet just falling off.


Q: Will I feel the magnet touch my skin?
A: The magnet is drawn up to the Power Stays™. Very, very rarely do you ever feel the magnet, if ever at all. We have never had anyone complain about the magnets touching their skin. We have had some people say that they keep touching the magnet to make sure it is there. Oh. . .by the way. . . It's there!



Q: Do the collar stays rust?
A: Our stays DO NOT rust. Power Stays™ are made of a unique high-tech alloy that is corrosion resistant as well as magnetic.


Q: What do you mean by fully adjustable?
A: You can position your collar to your personal desired look and maintain the spread of the collar by the use of our super-strong magnets. Enjoy the butterfly? Leave the magnets out. Like it high and tight? Pop'em in. And of course you can do everything in between.


Q: Will I make it through the airport security detector?
A: Absolutely. Power Stays™ are undetectable to the metal detector. You can catch your flight, without looking like the Flying Nun!

Celebrities NOT allowed to shop at Manifold

So, while reading Gawker I saw this post about Caravan, an "exclusive member-only" boutique in New York -- including unlisted telephone numbers. This being NYC, member-only translates to "celebrity", even if you're of the D-list variety. I guess velvet ropes at the club door aren't enough anymore.

As a retail owner, my first thought is WTF?! I certainly understand trying to set yourself apart from the competition. I just don't understand why you would want to turn away potential business. As long as someone will pay, why not take the money?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not hating on Caravan. If anything, I'm jealous (and confused as hell) that this concept is working out for them. Caravan just opened its third location; I'm still worried about getting my rent paid next month for one location -- especially with only 28 days to earn revenue.

Since Chicago is home to quite a few celebrities and those who visit/film here, Manifold is implementing its own concept: the anti-exclusive store. If you're a "celebrity" you can only shop at Manifold if you're with a non-celebrity; personal assistants don't count. The following people, however, can NEVER shop at Manifold, accompanied by non-celebrities or not (in no particular order, except PH -- who should be banned from life. Yes, from life . . . at least mine!):

1. Paris Hilton: racist, skank (which is usually a good thing, but not with her), annoyance
2. Brandon Davis: douche, though when applied to him that term demeans all other douches
3. Clay Aiken: delusional or a liar, not sure which
4. Lindsey Lohan: low-rent diva wanna-be
5. Britney Spears: trailer park princess (again, usually a good thing but . . .)
6. Nicole Richie: guilt by association (see PH), for starters
7. Jessica and Ashlee Simpson: gladly epitomize the blonde stereotype
8. Olsen Twins: fail to realize that rexi isn't chic
9. Donald Trump: grandiose . . . in his own mind
10. Michael Jackson: waaayyy too many reasons to list
11. Gwyneth Paltrow: the New England (and fake British) Blanche Dubois
12. Nicky Hilton: misfortune of being the sister of Paris
13. The Wayans Family: actually think they're funny
13 1/2. Ann Curry: just because

This list is subject to frequent updates as other "celebrities" piss me off and make me rethink the purpose of mankind. But short of curing a disease, I can guarantee you that none of these people will fall off the banned list.

Bringing you good karma

In yet another exclusive, Manifold is the first store in Illinois (not just Chicago!) bringing you portable karma. Take it with you for those times you need to relax, relate, release. (Bonus points for those who know that quote.) Off the top of my head here are some good uses: work, school, holiday dinners with the family. Keep it with you; you never know when you'll need it.

Click here to check out Karma in a Can. And here for Karma in a Candle.

Baby junk in a box

By now I'm sure everyone has seen Justin Timberlake doing Dick in a Box on SNL. It was out before Christmas. If you missed it, what were you been doing with your time???? Oh, ok. You were buying Christmas presents, spending time with family, blah. Fine.

Most people know how jaded I am. I don't often find "cute" things funny. This, however, made me laugh out loud when I read it on Gawker.

You may be asking yourself "What does this have to do with Manifold?" Not much. I just thought it was hilarious.

But since you insist that I somehow tie this post into the store, here it is: I wonder if this baby's parents use the PPTP. Like the box, you cover his baby junk with the PPTP; unlike the box, the PPTP is more manageable when you're changing a baby boy -- so you don't get sprayed.

That's it. Get off this blog. Go back to your life now.

Valentine's Day: Get Your Act Together

Well, the day that some celebrate and others hate is almost upon us. (Don't worry. This post isn't about the dread that is VD!) With less than two days to go, you've either thought about your present and know what to get, or you'll go with the old stand-by and get flowers. I'm sure flowers are fine for some people, but to me they just scream "I waited until the last minute but had to get you something, so here!" Put more thought into it. You're more likely to be rewarded.

As I mentioned in a previous post, gift buying is only half the battle. You also have to make yourself presentable for the day. Whether going out to dinner or cooking dinner together at home (which I highly recommend), you'll probably get at least a kiss that night. Make sure your partner appreciates the place(s) upon which they will place their lips. In addition to shaving your face, here are some other tips for you:

1. Use an alcohol-free toner. Toners hydrate the skin but also remove excess oils from your pores. If your night goes as planned, keep the bottle handy so you don't slid off the sheets.
2. Depending on what you and your partner get into (or you can convince them to try after receiving your overly-thoughtful gift), you should also consider Sphincterine Asstringent -- an all-natural, um, personal freshener which will give both of you a minty-fresh feeling all day (or night). You'll especially want to keep this handy if you have Indian or Thai food for Valentine's Day. Just sayin'.
3. I'm not a big fan of shaving body hair, but as a general rule, keep that stuff in check. It's a lot easier to entice someone to visit below your waist when they won't feel like they've been scrubbing their face with steel wool. My advice is to trim, not shave. You want to make it inviting; don't end up looking like you're 32 going on 9. It'll also make your Johnson appear larger.
4. For those single people who'll be out wreaking havoc on all the couples, you're sure to drink too much on Valentine's Day. You won't have an excuse for looking hungover the next morning. Here's a little trick I've learned. Eye cream reduces puffiness and dark circles. While you should use an eye cream on a regular basis (even before the fine lines start to show), I add an extra layer when I've been out a bit too late the night before. (Sometimes it's hard to make my 9:00 bed time, especially when I visit fine establishments that serve Jagermeister as the house wine.)
5. Men have different skin types than women. We need to use products developed specifically for us. Don't think you can get away with using your the products in your wife's/mom's/sister's/gf's drawer. Stop being a cheap ass and get your own!

You can find products for all our recommendations at Manifold, located at 2850 N. Clark St in Chicago.

In addition to the Super Bowl, February also brings the ultimate holiday for lovers – Groundhog Day Valentine’s Day. That’s right, that wonderful day when conception is at a yearly high and love (or lust) is in the air. While you read on to find gift suggestions that will please both the giver and receiver, I will buy tickets for my “I’m-not-bitter” night out.

Kiss Off
Guys, just because you plop down money for dinner and flowers, that’s not where your contribution for the night ends. You still need to clean yourself up a little, especially when it comes to shaving – don’t give your Valentine stubble burn when you plant that kiss. Check out the Anthony, Baxter, and Destination products; they are sure to make your skin feel and look healthier.

Ladies, don’t hesitate to give your man these items either. You work hard and put up with his annoying quirky habits. Give him a little push to clean up for you. Though, if he’s not currently using skin care products, keep it simple and don’t go over the top. You don’t want him to start spending more time getting ready than you do.

Naughty
For those of you looking to add some spice to your relationship, Manifold has items we’re sure you’ll enjoy.

Nice
Manifold’s ever-expanding assortment of candles and diffusers will help you create a romantic aura. Mandles, candles scented specifically for a man (Wild Alaska, Hunting Lodge, etc.), set that romantic mood without making him feel like he’s in a florist shop. It’s a win-win. We also have some new diffusers that come in linen and lemongrass. Refreshing.

We also have some new cuff links that should be in stock next week. They look great and aren’t sold at any other store in Chicago.

What are some other ways to keep it romantic? How about a Love mug? It’s a nice gift with Shakespeare’s most famous quotes about, well, love. For example, “Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting.” Now that I think about it, this quote could have several interpretations, which we won’t get into here.


Let’s just move right along to some exciting news about Manifold:

We’re implementing a referral program. For every NEW customer you refer,
you both get a reward. The new customer gets a $5 discount off their
purchase of $25 or more. You get a $10 Manifold gift card for each new customer who qualifies for the discount. If (when!) you refer 4 new customers, get an extra $10 card. Get $50 in gift cards just for sending your friends to an award-winning store. It’s a win-win. If your referral shops online, have them enter “gobears” as the coupon code for their discount and put your e-mail in the comments section so we can credit you properly. If they come into the store, make sure they give us your e-mail.

We’ve made online shopping easier and cheaper. In addition to adding Paypal as a payment method, we also now ship via the post office. You still have the option of using UPS. Just select the method that best meets your needs – and budget.

You Like Us. You Really Like Us.

So, all my thoughts about making daily posts to this blog have kind of fallen off to the side. I promise to try to do better in 2007. It's not that I don't have much to say; those who know me know I pretty much have an opinion about EVERYTHING. I find that trait charming -- at least in myself. In others? Not always.

Of course, there are those people who should have an opinion about more things. Nothing bothers me more (at the time of writing this post, at least) than someone who can't form an opinion about anything.

The Lakeview East Chamber of Commerce, however, has opinions and they're not afraid to share. (Yes, crappy segue.) One opinion they shared last night: Manifold is the Most Unique Shop in Lakeview East!!! We could easily make this up, but why? We have the plaque (albeit no base to hold it as of yet) to prove it. I'm psyched.

So, the next time you're shopping for unique items, stop by the store or visit us online.

Be Safe

By now I'm sure everyone has heard about James Kim, the father and husband found dead while traveling with his wife and two young children. While this is certainly sad news, it should also be a learning lesson to everyone. I'm not sure if anything can protect you after you leave the car, but you should always keep some items in your trunk:

• Blanket to stay warm
• Bag of sand to use for traction on ice
• The LifePac Survival Kit which contains more than two dozen emergency supplies

Ball odor. Um, not so much.

New York Magazine, via Gawker, has a piece on Tom Ford. You know Tommy. He's a designer extraordinaire. Seems he recently announced to the world that he goes commando. For the three of you who don't know, that means sans underwear. Today we find out that Tom F. also doesn't like deodorant or the smell of soap. Gawker rationalizes that this means he does like the smell of ball odor.

Now we here at Manifold won't deny a person their peccadilloes (as long as they're legal), but I have suggestion for Mr. Ford: Balla Powder for Men. Your balls won't have a musky odor . . . and you won't have to smell like a black orchid.

VOTE

VOTE. VOTE. VOTE. VOTE.

The MANniversary

Just had our first anniversary. "They" say that the first year is the hardest year. Hopefully that's true. While it's been a trying year, I'm glad I made the decision to open the store.

I think the store is finally hitting its stride. The web site looks great. E-commerce should be operable soon. We're learning what works and doesn't work in the store. And the customer response has been terriffic, at least once people find out about us!

Here's looking at year two!!